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The Best Halloween Horror Comedies You’ve Never Seen

by King Sheep on September 24, 2017 at 10:30 am
Posted In: Blog, movie reviews

If I said “Trick or Treat” and you cut off my hand, that would be horrifying. But depending on the movie, it might be funny. In the micro-genre of Halloween Horror Comedy, it’s often both.

A micro-genre drills down on one idea, creating a category unto itself. Netflix’s algorithm will occasionally create one for you such as sci-fi adventures with a strong female protagonist or 80’s action featuring heroes with mustaches. Micro-genres are meant to target a specific mood, so in honor of the black-and-orange holiday, this list ranks Horror Comedies that take place on Halloween.

royalty-free-halloween-imagesEach of the ranked films bring together the dual thrills of screaming and laughter, punctuated by costumes, candy, and glowing gourds. No Hocus Pocus on this list, or Boo! Madea’s Halloween or Ernest Scared Stupid; they are Halloween comedies. The movie needs legit scares too. John Carpenter’s Halloween franchise uses jokes to humanize characters and make interactions feel genuine, but there is never enough humor to balance out the horror. By sampling from both sides, this micro-genre creates something unique.

Also, if this list was horror comedies to watch on Halloween, it’d be very different. There are many incredible horror comedies, such as Shaun of the Dead, The Cabin in the Woods, Scream, Evil Dead 2, and Slither. Any one of those would be a solid option for a Halloween movie marathon. Also, a shout out to Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, which has a gluttonous amount of fun circumventing horror conventions. If you’ve been kept awake by a horror film that’s pure nightmare fuel, Tucker and Dale is the camomile tea of prescription cinema.

Or the sugar coating on scary

AKA the sugar coating on scary

But none of those movies take place on Halloween and there is a special magic when all your characters are wearing costumes and there is a whiff of mischief in the air. As with any micro-genres, few films fit, but for those precious freaks who walk the razor’s edge, you’re in for the best kind of treats.

idle_hands

  1. Idle Hands

The stoner-horror-comedy asks: what if Idle Hands really were the Devil’s plaything? In this case, they start murdering people. A couch-bound stoner has his hands possessed by murderous evil. He’s too lazy to confront his curse and instead gets wasted with his undead buddies, dodges a murderous priest in a winnebago, and woos the manic pixie punk rock biker dream girl. Hilarity and gore galore.

Idle Hands is shameless with its horror tropes, most scares are just splashes of blood or off-camera screams, and not much of it’s 90’s-era style and swagger has aged well. That said, it’s got great talent with Seth Green, Fred Willard, and Jessica Alba, and enough jumps and laughs on cosplay night to rank among the top three of this micro-genre.

trick_r_treat

  1. Trick ‘r Treat

If you like horror comedy with an emphasis on gallows humor, this is your bag. The creators set out to create the most visually rich Halloween possible, thus acres of gleaming jack-o-lanterns litter every frame. Pumpkins are the wallpaper, but also the film’s mascot: Sam – the psycho killer kid with a burlap sack on his head. While he’s a late entry into the stable of slasher icons, he earns his spot as the only pint-sized vengeful Halloween spirit.

The film bounces between several short stories taking place on the same night, and while you won’t find many redeeming characters to root for, you will meet murdering teachers, horny werewolves, and vengeful ghosts. Plus, its varied tales enjoy a sandbox of horror tropes while laughing at terrible things happening to terrible people. Most of its humor is dark enough to make you feel bad for laughing, but the film’s pulp horror vibe and attention to detail makes it a modern classic. Many people might have picked it for the top spot on this list, but those people have never been to a….

murder_party

  1. Murder Party

When it comes to juggling Halloween, Horror, and Comedy, this one doesn’t drop any balls. It’s an indie gem and a perfect midnight movie for October. It won awards at small film festivals, but it was never given a wide release so it doesn’t have ratings on Metacritic or Rotten Tomatoes. It was made for almost no money, which adds to its sophomoric charm. There are no known actors (except Macon Blair), yet all the players attack their parts with gusto. It is a forgotten film, which is criminal given the manic fun and raw creative energy on display.

Along with Blue Ruin (which is amazing) and Green Room (the best thriller of 2016), Murder Party kicked off in the aptly-named Clusterfuck Trilogy and it rules. All three were written and directed by Jeremy Saulnier, which is a name you should know. He has a gift for staging action and he commands pacing and mood like a master. Each of his films will make your knuckles white, but all catch moments of visual poetry and manic humor.  He’s a cinematic cousin of David Fincher and Edgar Wright and it won’t be long before people go looking for his earlier work.

Murder Party is a one-crazy-night story where a lonely schlub finds an invitation to a Murder Party and, having nothing better to do, decides to attend. What follows is a wild and nightmarish carnival ride that is best not spoiled. You will laugh. You will cringe. You might want to eat candy corns. Track it down and enjoy the surprise. 

King Sheep wishes everyone a happy cosplay day

King Sheep wishes everyone a happy cosplay day

 

└ Tags: Best of List, Halloween, Idle Hands, Murder Party, Trick r' Treat
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One Page Stories: Door Knockers

by King Sheep on March 21, 2017 at 8:22 pm
Posted In: One Page Stories

When the first party member suggested anarchy, it was dismissed. The second time, it wasn’t. After hours of drinking, debating, feasting, and purging, the delegates arrived at consensus. It was time for radical change – violent, irreversible, devastating change. The leader of the party made a joke about dying in prison, reminded fellow delegates of their fealty, and raised a glass in their honor.

“We are on the eve of becoming revolutionaries. Cheers. To a new future.”Peppermint

An invisible drone, floating twenty feet above, broadcasts the conversation to a small room where someone is always listening. Inside are the enforcers of the status quo. They have the power to change the system, but do everything in their power to prevent that very thing from happening.

A command is given to descend on the party’s location, but between the order and the attack, the party leader senses trouble. The delegates disband, disappearing into neighborhood parties, waiting cars, and darkened basements. They run and hide on home turf, cloaked in normalcy.

The men in the small room knew the delegates would scatter. A suburban neighborhood can appear to be a perfect camouflage, brimming with identical structures, circuitous roads, and similarly fashioned citizens. Each home is filled with average people and all are equally bad at keeping secrets.

Everyone lies and most pray to be good at it when it counts. But being effective without practice is luck, and few are lucky. And those that are, never stay that way. People who stash love letters in hope chests have no experience being interrogated. They vomit truth when kicked. But those who whisper secrets in shadows and shred or burn incriminating information require a truth seeker.

Enter, the Door Knockers.

Vested in red and white, they are the Navy Seals of door-to-door interrogators. They are Lady Justice without the scales or blindfold. Truth fuels the status quo and Door Knockers love to siphon gas.

At each residence, the Door Knockers ask similar questions: “Seen anything tonight?” “Heard the news lately?” “Is that your car?” A story, however benign, is stress-tested; inconsistencies probed, motivations deduced. Each interview lasts five minutes and ends with a rating:

1) Clean – 2) Reevaluate – 3) Dirty

The clean are ignored and the dirty are arrested. Those who warrant reevaluation can expect a peppermint parade.

Neighbors rarely lie and it doesn’t take long to find delegates’ doors. None want to answer, but most do. Questions poke at their frayed stories the way bullies poke chests. A confession ends the conversation and leads to another door. Within an hour, most would-be revolutionaries wouldn’t be. The party leader, still tasting the wine from his toast, refuses to answer the door. He listens instead to the incessant knocking, until, eventually

      Knock, knock.

               “Who’s there?”

                             The End.

└ Tags: flash fiction, One Page Stories
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ROUNDUP JF17

by King Sheep on March 6, 2017 at 1:21 pm
Posted In: Blog, humor, movie reviews

The lameness of this roundup’s title reflects the lameness of a typical winter movie season. January (J) and February (F) are when Hollywood offers a refrigerator review, as movies that haven’t looked appetizing are now acceptable when compared to starvation. After the Oscar hopefuls of ND (November/December) and the tentpole blockbusters of JJ (June/July or Abrams), JF movies focus instead on the law of diminishing franchises. The Jenky Fun of 2017 includes: the Persistently Unkillable Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (part VI), the please stay in the Underworld: Blood Wars (part V), and XXX: III Return of a guy with an X in his name. I could tell you how/why these movies are terrible, or I could tell you that none of them cracked 45% on Rotten Tomatoes or Metacritic. Odds are, you already know if these movies appeal to you. This roundup wants to prepare you for the ones you hope crack 50%, but end up being 50 Shades Darker (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

fifty shades review

“Fifty Shades Darker is not darker or better. It’s watered down, raincoat-brigade style erotica, even with the spiced-vanilla S&M.” Gary M. Kramer Salon.com

Watered down S&M = struggling into a bathing suit.

“Even someone with Johnson’s considerable charisma can’t get any heat going with a block of wood like this. Actually, to call his performance wooden is an insult to wood, which is a fine natural resource that demonstrably makes our world a better place.” Jason Bailey Flavorwire

Wood you like a seat?

Wood you like a seat?

“The worst thing to happen to fictional Seattle since Frasier bedded Roz.” J. Olson Cinemixtape

In Fictional Seattle, everyone is 15% less weird than in Portlandia.

“It’s not a terribly good idea to base a movie on a book in which almost nothing happens for 500 pages, but that’s what we have here.” The Seattle Times Moira Macdonald

So says a person from Actual Seattle. If we don’t calm these doppelgangers down, Fictional and Actual Seattle might get into a Fist Fight (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

Fist-Fight

“The film features a lot of that specifically American semi-improvised style of comedic acting where the actors act as though they’ve either forgotten what they’re about to say, or have suddenly remembered it.” Jim Schembri 3AW

Sounds semi-funny.

“Charlie Day and Ice Cube will live to crack wise another day. “Fist Fight,” on the other hand, is where laughter goes to die.” J. Olson Cinemixtape

whitehouse

Where logic goes to die

“A risible excuse for comedy that treats compulsory education as a joke and violence as a reasonable way to solve problems.“ Peter Debruge Variety

According to Orange Julius Caesar, American education doesn’t need $40 billion as much as it needs The Great Wall (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

wall.jpg

 

“[At first,] we learn the Great Wall of China was originally erected to protect the Chinese from marauding forces embodying the depths of human greed. Shortly afterward, we realize The Great Wall was made for precisely opposite reasons.” Jay Horton Willamette Week

The heights of human greed?

“Whether it’s a case of miscasting is unclear, but without a willing hero to anchor this already dubious movie from start to finish, The Great Wall hits a brick wall.” Steve Davis Austin Chronicle

trump trash

America is the best; no one crashes and burns better

“A splashy, old-fashioned monster movie stupid enough to amuse audiences from any culture that enjoys watching folks fight giant lizards.” Sean Burns Spliced Personality

PETGL (People for the Ethical Treatment of Giant Lizards) might need someone to be The Founder (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

THE-FOUNDER

“The Founder represents a veritable plunge into darkness. It’s impossible to look at Ray Kroc and not see America’s complex relationship with capitalism.” Matthew Turner iNews.co.uk

Reality Star Trek: America Into Darkness.

The man, played with dark relish by Michael Keaton, has the fabulous name of Ray Kroc (there is a suitably reptilian air to his grin as he says things such as: “Contracts are like hearts. They’re made to be broken”).” Ed Potton Times (UK)

Snake

All we need is a blindfold

“Keaton sells the crap out of Kroc’s filet-o-fishy business, but sauce overrides substance: it needed tougher meat.” Kevin Harley Total Film

And when you need to sell the crap out of plastic, you call The Lego Batman Movie (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

batman

“A Batman film with more humanity than the Batman films with actual humans in them.” William Bibbiani CraveOnline

“Fiction is the lie through which we tell the truth.” – Albert Camus

“A movie that’s like watching a really bright kid playing with the snap-together toys while talking to himself.” Richard von Busack MetroActive

legoman

Mucho Assembly Required

“The merchandising tie-in we deserve.” Pete Vonder Haar Houston Press

New and improved like Grandma used to make. It’s dually fallacious! AKA – Split (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic)

split_ver2

“It’s too weird and entertainingly trashy to write off.” Aaron Yap Flicks.co.nz

Write on.

“I let out an audible gasp at the end. That has never happened.” Rohan Naahar Hindustan Times

snowman

The Twistiest Twist since last Twistmas

“An enjoyable piece of B-movie silliness, Split supplies mystery, suspense and creepy trepidation, and boasts a tour-de-performance from James McAvoy in the leading role. Or rather roles.” Jason Best Movie Talk

Are all 24 of McAvoy names listed in the credits? If so, can we add John Wick 2 (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

john-wick-chapter-2-poster

“There’s a quality to the violence here that elevates it above the literal (and reprehensible) nihilism of movies like last year’s “Hardcore Henry,” and instead achieves something more akin to dance.” Peter Debruge Variety

Question answered, John Wick is the one who dances with the devil by the pale moonlight.

“A more audacious film, bolder and more violent than its predecessor. It’s also surprisingly hilarious, wringing humor from physical pratfalls and dry wit in unexpected moments.” Angelica Jade Bastien RogerEbert.com

marshmellows

Schaden-fuego

“Chapter 2 is this series’ The Empire Strikes Back, if that movie had a running gag about murdering people with pencils.” Pete Vonder Haar Houston Press

If I actually saw pencil murder, I wouldn’t laugh, I’d Get Out (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

GetOut

“Mark my words; it’ll be a modern classic.” Anthony Ray Bench Film Threat

This review is giving you an order, which is appropriate given the publication.

“Want to put a little gore on your funny bone at the movies this weekend? Then just try to get in to “Get Out,” a very clever horror film with enough social satire to start a great debate or three.” John Urbancich Your Movies (cleveland.com)

bad-hombre-cap-hat-trump-2016-debate-hilary-vote-funny-make-america-great-again-c879cef4f2e61cc0cb64a1d13af6649b

Not much debate

“I laughed, and then I was scared, and then I started laughing again, and then I wanted to run out of the theater but then I stayed, and then I started laughing again, and then I was really, really scared. That’s about it. Oh…this movie is awesome.” Bob Grimm Reno News and Review

pat-j-av-full

King Sheep wanted to end this roundup, but then       he wanted to echo the praise, so he did

 

Filed under: Blog, Uncategorized | Tagged: 50 Shades Darker, Fist Fight, Get Out, John Wick 2, review roundup, Split, The Founder, The Great Wall, The Lego Batman Movie | Leave a comment »

└ Tags: 50 Shades Darker, Fist Fight, Get Out, John Wick 2, review roundup, Split, The Founder, The Great Wall, The Lego Batman Movie
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READ – WATCH – PLAY – Technological Trepidation

by King Sheep on December 3, 2016 at 8:31 pm
Posted In: Blog, humor, Pop culture cupid, Read Watch Play

READ – WATCH – PLAY

we3

READ – We3 (Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely)

Three household pets (a dog, a cat, and a bunny) become fully armed/armored mechanized assassins, but that’s just backstory. Really, this is a cautionary tale about 3 disobedient super-soldier creature-creations trying to escape their makers. We3 is a timely story about the corrupting power of the military industrial complex, but its telling draws more from Frankenstein, Robocop, and Milo & Otis. It is bad-ass, high-concept, darkly humorous adventure that fully embraces its socially-provocative and morally-complicated subject.

Over the last decade, I have bought the 3-issue collected tradepaperback 3 times and each time I loan it out, the book isn’t returned. Like a lost pet that everyone wants, reading We3 will make you want to share the love. The pages sing with style, oscillating between kinetic action and the soul-searching conversations of animals who were never meant to talk. It is heartbreaking, hated by PETA, and totally fucking amazing. Plus, the bunny poops bombs. Read it, love it, moving on. 

blackmirrortitlecard

WATCH – Black Mirror (Charlie Booker)

Black Mirror is the least-binge-watchable show ever created. Each story explores the dark possibilities of technology and my first thought after every episode is “We wouldn’t really be that bad, would we?” But telling myself this only reaffirms that Black Mirror is challenging and not-easily classified. Often compared to the Twilight Zone or Outer Limits, Black Mirror is not about one story, one character, or one world. It is one modern monolithic fear explored from different angles.

Shows feature quality actors you’ll recognize from other things, such as Jon Hamm (White Christmas), Bryce Dallas Howard (Nosedive), and Hayley Atwell (Be Right Back). The stories can be personal tales or global challenges; present day or 10 seconds into the future. In The Entire History of You, the ability to perfectly record and access every memory creates a world where people don’t live in the present. The deeply affecting San Juipero follows digital ghosts seeking personal fulfillment in the afterlife. And in The Waldo Moment, a comedian driving an animated character trolls politicians for laughs and ends up influencing politics. You will be shocked by the vareity and sophtication of stories; some will feel eeriely possible, perhaps even likely.

I dare you to watch Black Mirror. It is media homework for anyone who muses about technology changing their life. If you watch an episode with a friend, you’ll want to talk about it after. For those who watch the show alone, pace yourself.

xcom2

 

PLAY – XCOM2 hates you. While many games push their players to do better, XCOM 2 rejoices in kicking you when you’re down. You are the silent commander leading a guerrilla war against a superior enemy. The game constantly bullies you with alien attacks, alarming research, and grief. This is a war game and war games never change. Soldiers die in war and each death stings. Constant and oppressive regret will tempt you to reload your save file and try again. Reload grind aside, it’s addictive because each skirmish awards experience/resources/intel, which are used to build better weapons/soldiers/support, and while you wait to build/level/learn, another battle is always looming. 

XCOM wants you to believe you can save the world, and it intends to hurt you as much as possible while you chase that rainbow. Even if you win a battle, your soldiers return to base beaten and bloody, often requiring weeks to recover. Victories rarely feel like wins. And despite all this pain and grief, the game is amazing. Precious few turn-based strategy games know how to balance number-crunching statistical precision with resource management and narrative thrust. XCOM 2 is a hurts-so-good type of game. The world needs saving and you’ll die regardless of whether you try to save it. Good luck. 

King Sheep hopes to avoid a Trumpocalypse

King Sheep fears a Trumpocalypse more than a robot uprising

└ Tags: Black Mirror, Read Watch Play, We3, XCOM, XCOM2
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READ WATCH PLAY – Power Girls

by King Sheep on May 19, 2016 at 6:47 pm
Posted In: Blog, humor, movie reviews

READ – WATCH – PLAY

Paper Girls

READ – Paper Girls (TPB). Imagine if The Goonies, The Monster Squad, and The Explorers weren’t complete sausage fests and all the main characters were bad-ass, trash-talking, 12-year-girls. The story is nimble and wild, bouncing you between great characters and WTF moments that will have you checking the calendar for the next issue when you’re done. If Hollywood ever makes a movie of this story, your head will melt.

ex-machina-1

WATCH – Ex_Machina. If you’re looking for a tonal comparison, it’s like Black Mirror or The Twilight Zone, but the subject matter is straight out of a crystal ball. We toss around the acronym A.I., but this film explores it on a personal and philosophical level. Watch it with friends and you will spend the rest of your night debating the implications and ideas you see here. Seeing it won’t change your life, but it will be mandatory viewing for everyone once our robot overlords take over. You have been warned.

FooterPrincess

PLAY – Pairs. Patrick Rothfuss introduced two games (Tak & Pairs) in his books before they were birthed into the real world by James Earnest (not sure if he is the doctor or the mother in this metaphor). Tak is coming soon, but Pairs is already here. It’s the perfect game for quick rounds. I’ve played it with one-year-old babies and it works great in bars since there isn’t a winner, just a loser (next round on you). It’s so deceptively simple and fun (not to mention cheap), it should be a staple in every gaming household. The real question is: what kind of Pairs deck defines you as a person? My pick is above.

King Sheep thinks you should get the flock out of here

King Sheep really should stop refering to himself in the third person

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